Do you think I am right?

My boyfriend and I were planning on getting engaged within a month or two. (I assumed it would be in June when it was our 5 year anniversary). Anyway we have kind of been "planning" something things anyway and wanted to get married in April of next year since my family has a lilac farm and thats when they are in bloom. About a week ago his older sister (28) announced she got engaged to a guy that she has been dating for 2 weeks and wants to plan a wedding 1 month before we were. She told me she was "happy it was happening this way because its not right that we would be married before her." Of course, I am actually in the wedding and its been really hard for me to help plan because we thought this would be our time. She is turning into a major bridezilla. She doesn't want us to be engaged because she wants it to be ALL about her. I feel bad for getting bummed out and upset but I just don't think she is being fair about all this.





Do you think I am right to be upset?

Do you think I am right?
OK, here's what ya do: Go ahead and get engaged, but when you do, tell your fiance to promise NOT to mention your engagement party at all. Just let her be surprised by receiving an invitation to your engagement party in the mail. She'll be green with envy that you had an engagement party. Better yet, ask your family to put on a "surprise" engagement party. This will piss her off even more that someone wants to really whoop it up big for you! Plus, your fiance will not have to lie and no blame will be cast upon you. Then, when you discover what date her bridal shower will be, make sure to have your friends or family plan yours before hers. This way, once again, the blame will not be on you cause you didn't plan it!
Reply:Of course you have a right to your feelings. Since your boyfriend hasn't officially proposed and since you haven't officially set a date there really isn't much you can do. You can't expect your fiancé's sister to plan her wedding around your maybe-wedding. But it is totally wrong for her to not want you to get engaged for her own selfish reasons.
Reply:Instead of being upset with her, you should be feeling sorry for her. Getting engaged to a jerk after two weeks of dating does not predict much happiness in her future.





Maybe you and your fiance can wait another year for the lilacs to be in bloom and for all this drama to blow over. You don't want to be planning your own happy day amidst all this.
Reply:of course you're right if she knew about your plans!





and think about it this way: do you really think their relationship will last 1 year after knowing eachother for 2 WEEKS!!


and if she wants you to participate in her wedding (ie. helping plan, etc), tell her to eff off! you have your own wedding to plan!
Reply:Whoa - hold it! She's marrying a guy she's been dating for TWO WEEKS? Ride it out with a smile on your face. Their wedding will probably be called off by fall. If not, you plan your wedding the way you want it. There's no reason both of you can't have the weddings of your dreams.
Reply:Yes, that was seriously not fair of her and dating for 2 weeks wtf, this is going to cost her in her life. Especially, if she's just marrying to get you upset or be the first one to get married.
Reply:yeah you are right. It sounds like she was really jealous of you two. I dont really see how you could marry someone after only 2 weeks of dating them. Maybe you should wait until all of the attention can be on you two.
Reply:Well it sounds like she will be the first to get married and the first to get divorsed!! I would be upset too, but don't let that take away from your wedding.
Reply:no, I would be more than upset I would be very mad and I would tell her how I felt.


But you could always get married before her like this Sept. that is a beautiful month for a wedding..that just how I feel.
Reply:Don't get upset - get engaged. She doesn't have to approve of your engagement and guess what - other people have gotten engaged since she has and horror of horrors are going to get married right before and after her. Do not change your plans to accommodate her. If you want to get married in April 2009 you should. Although, it could be a hardship for his family having 2 weddings so close together. Now here's the real question, do you actually think her wedding is going to happen? I mean it's not normal to get engaged after 2 weeks, how serious is the groom to be?
Reply:she knew about your plans?


if she did then you have every right to be upset - i'm waiting 2 years to get married because my cousins are getting married in june and october of next year and i didn't want to crowd it (even though my second cousin didn't actually set a date - just thinks october is a good month) she could have waited if she already knew - being older isn't a good enough reason to get married first... tell her you're going to continue planning as you had intended... she'll have to get over herself, if it's stepping on her feet she shouldn't have stepped on yours!
Reply:if they are only going on two weeks and he is a totally ahole you should calm down, their relationship may not even make it to march;-)





being somewhat involved in planning their wedding will help you with planning yours, you'll already be aware of all the pitfalls and have a better idea of what you what. it'll be easy to upstage her which is what every competing bride of course wants-another winky face is in order..;-)
Reply:Getting married to a guy you've only known 2 weeks is her problem so don't worry about it....and if he's as bad as you say the wedding may not even happen.





As far as you, you can't expect someone to not become engaged and set a date no matter how long they've been dating just because you and your beau have been kinda-sorta talking about getting engaged. "You can't get engaged %26amp; married next Spring because your brother and I were talking about getting engaged and getting married next Spring" sounds kinda silly....Talking about doesn't count...the actual engagement does.





Having said that, just because she's getting married doesn't mean you guys can't get engaged. I don't care how many times I've said this, A bride gets ONE day...not the week, month, year, or decade....and it's not all about her...it's about the marriage....and the world and people's lives don't come to a grinding halt over her wedding...but let her learn that the hard way.......





So go ahead and get engaged.....after she knew you guys were planning it anyway ....." happy it was happening this way....etc"...why should she marry before you guys, because she's older? Nonsense......and what goes around comes around, and she'll find out the hard way how racing to the aisle to beat out you guys is not such a good deal when she's saddled with a lazy drunken (good looking) leech....



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