Do you like................?

I really would like to know what you guys think





Is it good





If you don't think it is good can u please be specific so I can change it.











If Only I Knew Why








Crimson sand makes the desert floor,


The azure sky guards on.


Purple breath envelops my lungs,


The night turns into dawn.





I hear the distant sound of life,


Right now I am alone.


This space belongs to only me,


This spot becomes my own.





I gaze at the snowy white clouds,


As unvoiced time stands still.


I lose myself in arid air,


The wind provides a chill.





My hands endure the passing gust,


My mind begins to float.


I rest among the lilac sky,


My thoughts become remote.





I smell the chalky, bitter scent,


My life stands idly by.


My soul and body disconnect,


If only I knew why.

Do you like................?
Very good! You must like purple.
Reply:Keep writing and I think you'll be a great poet someday! Report It

Reply:nice rhythm!
Reply:OK, "on" doesn't really rhyme with "dawn" -- or maybe it does where you live, but around here, no. I found "arid air" awkward. Other than that, I think it is pretty good.
Reply:Nice ! Good job !! ♥
Reply:i like it but it isn't very clear all the time, what exactly are you describing
Reply:I like it.
Reply:I like it.
Reply:YES I LOVE IT
Reply:thats great.
Reply:its ok a little long though
Reply:That's pretty (I don't think it's long enough!)... what's it for?
Reply:Totally Awesome!
Reply:Wow... that is very good.
Reply:i like LOTS. :)
Reply:i like it.
Reply:I think it's really a wonderful poem!
Reply:How long did it take you to write that?





It's nice, but where were you when you were creating it?





Morg
Reply:to long to read got better question to answer thanks anyway though.
Reply:Yes, it's good.
Reply:wow..that was so beautufl! We;ll written, relaxing, gret flow, and nice transitioning rhyming words..i would just make it a little bit shorter, but otehr than that,.perfect! :)



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