Do you like my Poem?

I'm only fourteen, but I have a passion for writing. Not like I want to make a career out of it or anything. Just wanted to see if you think I'm any good


Green is the meadow where the white sheep graze


Yellow's the sunlight that lights the days


Blue are the eyes of the sad old man


Crying for his golden-haired sweetheart.





Brown is the color of his tattered, worn shirt


Tan are the hands that worked the dirt


Black is the color of his beautiful mare


Riding the twighlight blue earth.





White is the house that he built for her.


Golden the memories that made his heart stir


Red roses grow to remember the days


Blue shuttered windows stare back.





Gray was the porch beside her room


As they held each other 'neath the yellow moon


Red was his face as she stole a kiss


There in the purple shadows.





Silver the tears running down the man's face


Pink reminds him of her beautiful grace


Orange is the sun as is comes back to earth


Lilac the longing of seeing her tonight in his dreams

Do you like my Poem?
Why wouldn't you want to make a career out of it? You got some skills, young lady! I love the parallels of the colors blue and gold, while the use of gray (gray!) packed some punch.





You should develop your self awareness with some meditation and stream of consciousness writing experiments. Find those things which truly inspire you. Those things may be cheap, inexpensive, or very expensive, but touch and feel all you can and drink deep the dew of your life. Go out and experience as much as you can because your writing always comes from your experiences, good or bad. Think about how even when someone hurts you, it's actually going to cause you to become an even better person and writer--as long as you handle it well and in a healthy manner! Read about people and watch them, too!


Find that which honors your Creator and you'll tap the deepest resources of your soul. That's where the great drama comes from--that well of living water. And, who knows? Maybe you'll end up with a rewarding career as a writer! Just because writing comes easy to you, please, please, please refrain from devaluing it. It may be your gift; your vocation. Find out what 'vocation' means and you're halfway to the answer.


Heck, answer this question: if you could do anything you wanted, anything at all, and money wasn't an issue, what would you do? The answer is your vocation if it makes you cry.


I wish you all the best!
Reply:I like your poem. You are good, of course. You are a very young poet who writes well. Keep writing. You have the talent.
Reply:keep doing it...more power, u have the talent, you have to hone ur skills.
Reply:you are good, keep writing. it helps gain insight into yourself...
Reply:aww!





My gosh girly is awesome!!


Spine-tingling.





I loved it!
Reply:Pretty good. I especially like the meter and flow. It's hard to get the words' natural stresses to follow meter, but yours seems well worked. I also like the shorter number of syllables per last line of each verse. It has a lyrical quality even though some lines don't rhyme or "make it around" to rhyming with a previous verse. Overall, I'd say you did very well!
Reply:I like how you did it, ya know with the colors 'n whatnot. But you seemed to lose it on the 3rd 'n 4th stanza.... I mean the 1st 2 you went without mentioning a color at the end, then on the 3rd you mentioned 1. And on the 4th you did 2 lines without starting off with a color. Yeah, you still had the color, but it wasn't at the beginning....





With a little more thought out into it, and the realizing that age doesn't matter, you should do well... But never use your age as an excuse or whatever, 'cause 1 of these days it'll come back bit you... People won't see the words of the poem, they'll see the number of your years. Which really should not and does not count in writing.





So, um... Luck with that.
Reply:Writing is a good thing to get into. And good poem.
Reply:You seem to have lots of talent. Except work to use less common adjectives. Also, don't give out your age.
Reply:You have true talent here. I love this :)
Reply:I LIKE IT!!
Reply:pretty good...





ou..USA or UK?





if USA


happy independence day hehehe
Reply:awesome. u have talent.



affiliate